It has been two years since I had a period.
It has been two years since I bought a tampon.
It has been two years since I have had to worry about condoms.
Basically, it has been two years since having the coil inserted and it has been absolute bliss.
The last time I wrote about my experience of the Mirena, I talked about getting to know your body; about not being afraid to ask your doctor questions and about trying as many different methods of birth control as possible to find what works best for you.
Now, although I don’t think the majority of us needed a belated Danish study to tell us that, it has made me even more determined to ensure that women, like me, seek alternative methods of contraception to the spawns of satan that are Microgynon, Celeste or Yasmin because, believe me, you do not have to suffer. They do exist and they will change your life.
When I had them, my periods were the absolute worst. Like, I can take pain and I still used to practically strap a hot water bottle to my stomach for five days while changing my tampon every hour, on the hour (no joke) and shoving pills into my gob to quash the stabbing at every opportunity. With the Mirena, I don’t have this problem because my periods have disappeared altogether. I also don’t have PMT so bad my friends and family want to drown me. I also save money on sanitary goods. And guess what? Each month, like clockwork, my boobs still get bigger – just without the blood and cramps and stuff.
I will confess, as time goes on, it has started to weird me out that my body hasn’t bled for a while. I sometimes wonder whether I am doing damage to my lady bits or whether I am affecting my fertility for the sake of having no periods and a fuss-free sex life? I have since been assured by my doctor friends that the Mirena is ‘the Rolls Royce’ of contraception, so I am back to enjoying the only method of birth control that has ever worked for me, guilt-free.
If you are thinking about getting the coil, go to a Sexual Health Clinic near you and, at the very least, talk to someone about it. They will answer all your questions and help you work out if it’s the right choice for you. Just do me a favour though, will you? Ignore the scaremongering stories of perforation, infection and pregnancy because I have some news for you: there are risks with everything we do (including crossing the goddamn road) and, FYI, no method of birth control is 100% effective.
So, unless you are happy to abstain from sex until you actually want to hear the pitter-patter of tiny feet, at least look into getting the coil.
Birth control doesn’t have to ruin your life, it can actually improve it. You just need to know your options.
Good luck, ladies; birth control bliss is just an awkward appointment away.