Recently, I wrote about not comparing myself to others as I get older, but on reflection, I’m not sure what I said is 100% true.
Sure, I might no longer care if I’m two dress sizes bigger than my best friend or that I can’t afford that Gucci t shirt anymore, but when it comes to my relationship? I can’t stop comparing mine to filtered versions of other people’s.
I mean, I’m fairly certain it’s an age thing. With weddings, christenings, baby showers and house keys littering my feeds, I’m sort of forced to compare myself in a way. To question whether I want what they have. To wonder why I don’t. Or at least think about why I have something different. Of course, it comes down to circumstance and even a desire to have those things at all, but even after years of preaching and listening to others preach about not being fooled by the falseness of people’s lives displayed on social media, I still get sucked into this behaviour, time and time again.
Every single morning I am kissed on the head and told to have a good day. Each evening, I sit down to eat with my flat mate and best friend. We laugh. We talk. And I am happy. Why, then, do I scroll through Instagram, through reams of people getting engaged, wondering why I haven’t been proposed to yet (somehow forgetting I’m not even sure how I feel about marriage). I hate that we don’t share a bottle of wine with dinner like other couples because he doesn’t like the taste of it (ignoring the fact I often prefer a beer anyway). And I wonder why we don’t own a home, knowing exactly the reasons why.
Of course, not comparing yourself to others on social media is all stuff you’ve heard before, but if you, like me, are 28 and wondering why your life doesn’t look like other people’s, question whether your themed grid on Instagram or perfectly crafted Facebook statuses are a true reflection of what’s going on in your life. I’m sure you haven’t shouted about that explosive (and completely unnecessary) row you had over socks being left by the wash bin or hair in the sink, and I’m almost certain you haven’t told all and sundry about those very real struggles, life choices or dips in the road you’ve experienced or been going through together.
Only when you realise you’re comparing yourself to something that doesn’t even exist, will you stop partaking in this very common losing battle. Just focus on doing what makes you and your other half happy, not what others are doing to make them happy and you’ll start to feel about ten billion times more content with where you’re at right now.