The Facebook

Since watching “The Social Network”, I have been utterly freaking out about facebook. I can’t help thinking about this narcissistic need we have to shove our lives into other people’s face all the time. I take part in it myself, but I have absolutely no idea why.

It’s terrible. I mean, how many times have you heard the phrase, “God, they look way better on facebook!”? Girls, clearly the pouting isn’t doing you (or I) any good. You might fool people into thinking you look like a supermodel on facebook, but you can’t kid people in real life. They will see you and they will notice the difference between your profile picture and your actual face. On the other hand, pulling a funny face in a photo doesn’t mean that you’re ‘an absolute nutter’ it usually just means that you don’t want people to think you take yourself too seriously. Why can’t we all just smile?

Aside from the creation of our alter egos, the weirdest aspect of facebook, is facebook stalking. The clue is in the word ‘stalking’ guys… It’s never okay. Why do we torture ourselves by stalking ‘the ex’? Not just your ex, but the ex of your current boyfriend/girlfriend and even your ex’s new girlfriend. Back in the day, you wouldn’t even know that your ex has a new girlfriend, nowadays you know what nail polish she wears. Why do we search for old photos of our boyfriend and his ex travelling across Eastern Europe looking tanned and really quite gorgeous together? What happened to picturing her as an oaf covered in warts to make yourself feel better? Ignorance, after all, is usually bliss.

Also, most of us are friends with around 300 people that we would probably ignore if we saw in the street or on campus, so why do we allow them to look at our lives, and vice versa? Surely they don’t care that I went out and ‘got smashed’ last night. Surely they don’t care that I’m ’really into my music’, so why are we friends on facebook? Because we spent one night out together? Or because we kissed once? We’re not ‘friends’ really, are we? And why is it such a big deal when people delete you off facebook? It kicks up more of a fuss than if they threw a pint over your bloody head!

… Don’t even get me started on facebook chat. That is THE most annoying part of facebook. All sorts pop up… “alright?”… “yeah, you?”… “yeah good thanks, what are you up to these days?”… “WHY THE HELL DO YOU CARE?! I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN FIVE YEARS!” I think you know what I mean. And if you don’t, you’re one of these ‘chat chasers’.

Despite all my reservations about facebook, I must say that I continue to use it regularly. It is the source of all party invitations at university. It is a way of keeping in contact with people you met on your gap year. It’s a place to share photos with your friends. Basically, until I graduate, I pretty much can’t come off facebook. I would actually be deemed ‘a bit odd’ if I no longer had a profile. It has completely changed how friendships work. I often wonder what life would be like without the convenience of the private message sitting right at your fingertips. I’d actually have to call people. Eurgh.

So for the meantime, I will revel in this social network and continue to be a frivolous facebooker; poking people as I please. Because, let’s face it… it’s actually quite fun.

Mr Zuckerberg, I salute you and your insane invention.