Don’t get me wrong. I, like most girls out there, might feel a slight pang of jealousy when my best friend tells me about her new job while I’m still unemployed three months after graduating. I also recognize that “oh-so-single” feeling when a coupled up chum tells you that her boyfriend bought her tickets to see a west end show while you sit at home watching Downton Abbey alone. But no matter how much you envy your gal pal, above anything, first and absolutely foremost, you should feel happy for your friend.
I’ve noticed recently that women seem to come together and show their strength of sex when things are going badly. When it comes to a break up, we’re there with chocolate and DVDs. Bad exam results? We’re there with the gin and tickets to the nearest club night. We spend hours and hours dwelling on the negatives but when it comes to congratulating our friends on something that’s going well in their lives, the notion of sisterhood goes out of the window and we’re either reluctant to congratulate our friends or we just quite simply forget. Although it’s great that we sympathise so well with our girlfriends, we should celebrate our wonderful characters and quirky abilities rather than join as one in times of woe-we deserve it! After all, since the turn of the century, women really have started to rule the roost. Think Lady Gaga, Michelle Obama and J.K Rowling to name but a few. And although we look up to them and seek inspiration from them, women continue to be threatened by other women. I guarantee that in our day to day lives, we’d be far more inclined to ask a man for directions or hope to be served by a male sales advisor than ask the help of a woman, and yes that is part of the rules of attraction but we should stop feeling threatened. Our sister strangers should be the next best thing to friendship.
For me, Beyoncé is the ultimate woman. She has a gorgeous husband with a baby on the way, a successful career and she celebrates all this by backing herself with an all girl band; something that a number of my male friends have expressed their concerns about and call sexist. I see it as more of a celebration than anything. Don’t get me wrong, she is most definitely making a point by using a band of boobs but I’m not sure that she’s on Pankhurst Patrol just yet. I think she, unlike lots of women in this day and age, feels most at ease surrounded by women. And this to me is a beautiful thing.
I wouldn’t have ever called myself a feminist until recently and I would never burn my bras-it would be far too expensive. But what I will do is sing along, very, very loudly to Beyoncé and her oestrogen extravaganza and celebrate how much I love being a woman.
Having been involved with someone or other since the age of sixteen, I used to forget what it meant to be single. Now that I am truly riding solo for once, I remember exactly what it means; you can start thinking about yourself.
When you’re in a relationship, you’re forever envying your single friends who are going out and playing the field. But why? You think they’re out partying all the time and having fun. In reality, they’re envying you for having someone to watch a film and order a take-away with whilst they’re doing the leg work to find their Mr (or Mrs) right. I guess the old adage ‘The grass is always greener’ is rather apt in regards to Pat Benatar’s battlefield of love.
However, there are undoubtedly both positives and negatives in regards to both relationship statuses. As a singleton, you can pick your nose, wear a face mask at night and commit all those other little ‘single sins’ that you love but can’t execute when someone’s sleeping in your bed every night. But then again, as an attachedton you get someone to create bad habits with that only you two on cloud cupid find cute, like eating ice cream in bed or squeezing each other’s spots. Both of which are incredibly satisfying (apparently).
However, it has to be said that being both single and attached have one thing in common; loneliness. When you’re single, unless you have a little someone to text or think about, it is fundamentally really quite boring. And when you’re attached, it becomes impossible not to lose touch a little with your friends, making the single person inside you very lonely indeed. It’s normally the realisation that you’ve lost all communication with the outside world that makes you feel as if you might like to be alone again, because as either man or woman, you feel as if you’re able to ‘do what you want’ when you’re single. But is this really the case? And what do you actually want to do when you’re single? Yes, you can kiss lots of different people and date which is rather exciting I suppose, but when you’re in a relationship, you’re guaranteed all of those things anyway, plus the sex is always far more satisfying. And you know where you stand.
I must say however, I do feel rather liberated when I’m single (with the help of Beyoncé of course), but I’m not sure how long that will actually last.
One thing I am enjoying though is being able to wear truly enormous pants.